Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
