Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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