I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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