a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Nobody cheats on THIS.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
