They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
