I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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