I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize