I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
