Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
