so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
