You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I canβt really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize