So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
