i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I have feelings that need drinking.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Randomize
