we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
