Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize