Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
