we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I just want to make out with him forever
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
