I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize