90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
