another moral hangover. fuck.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
