Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
