We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
