yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
