You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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