I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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