playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
