Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
He felt like a one man threesome
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
