Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.

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(585): View more from New York

Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.

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(941): View more from Florida

Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche

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(850): View more from Florida

hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.

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(254): View more from Texas

They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call

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(678): View more from Georgia

We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.

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(734): View more from Michigan

I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.

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(614): View more from Ohio

I peed in front of kids, unfortunately

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