Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Randomize
