Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(706): View more from Georgia

I think I'm in Tiajuana

(404): View more from Georgia

You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago

(706): View more from Georgia

I could be

Fav 13 2531 995
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(323): View more from California

I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.

Fav 13 6090 994
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(914): View more from New York

vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable

Fav 12 4437 881
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(201): View more from New Jersey

I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"

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(941): View more from Florida

how did the keg end up in the top bunk?

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(678): View more from Georgia

If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.

Fav 5 1666 2018
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(615): View more from Tennessee

Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you

Fav 8 4193 1000
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?

Fav 3 510 619
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(985): View more from Louisiana

I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.

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