I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
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I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
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But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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