I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Randomize
