Screwed.edu
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
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