I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize