I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
