just tell him i said nine months
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
there is puke in my bra ... again
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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