i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
