Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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