Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
