I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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