I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Oh god it's open bar.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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