I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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