..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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