Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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