margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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