My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
