my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
