yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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