Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
