Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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