she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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