There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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