i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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