i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
