he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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