Will you blow on my dice?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
