I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You dont lie about slip and slides
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
