I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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