i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
