I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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