I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
