Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
