I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
