So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
